1 00:00:00,428 --> 00:00:01,416 [Noise] 2 00:00:01,417 --> 00:00:03,351 ♪ La, la ♪ 3 00:00:03,486 --> 00:00:05,218 ♪ La, la ♪ 4 00:00:05,254 --> 00:00:08,021 Narrator: Then again, after humans discovered 5 00:00:08,057 --> 00:00:10,424 that prayer actually works... 6 00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:11,827 Pardon me, sir. 7 00:00:11,828 --> 00:00:14,094 Have you accepted the Lord into your heart? 8 00:00:14,129 --> 00:00:16,830 Yeah, matter of fact, I have. 9 00:00:16,865 --> 00:00:19,066 Pray me a hoagie. Make it snappy. 10 00:00:19,101 --> 00:00:21,634 I'm starving... a number seven with pimento! 11 00:00:21,670 --> 00:00:23,136 All right. All right. 12 00:00:23,172 --> 00:00:28,208 Everyone cursed with belief in their creator was finally useful. 13 00:00:28,243 --> 00:00:30,077 ♪ La, la ♪ [Crunch] 14 00:00:30,112 --> 00:00:33,580 Yeah, pray fly me home. Heh. Come on. 15 00:00:33,615 --> 00:00:36,850 Citizens grew used to having all they desired... 16 00:00:36,885 --> 00:00:39,853 a number eight with cheese... [Crunch] 17 00:00:39,888 --> 00:00:41,421 ...number four, hold the bun. 18 00:00:41,457 --> 00:00:42,690 [Crunch] 19 00:00:42,691 --> 00:00:46,193 They began to yearn for the one thing that had eluded them... 20 00:00:46,228 --> 00:00:50,330 spiritual faith, number 19 with a side of hot soup. 21 00:00:50,366 --> 00:00:52,132 [Angelic singing] 22 00:00:52,167 --> 00:00:55,934 The second someone got God, they were prayer-jacked. 23 00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,870 Madness reigned. 24 00:00:57,905 --> 00:01:00,072 [Engines whirring] 25 00:01:02,543 --> 00:01:05,378 There was only one way to make things right. 26 00:01:05,413 --> 00:01:08,280 Everyone agreed to drop all faith 27 00:01:08,316 --> 00:01:12,851 and forever believe nothing on the count of three. 28 00:01:12,887 --> 00:01:16,122 One, two... 29 00:01:16,157 --> 00:01:22,057 [Title music] 30 00:01:22,596 --> 00:01:27,099 [Laughing] 31 00:01:27,135 --> 00:01:30,635 Narrator: So Hank Alto experienced a medical issue 32 00:01:30,670 --> 00:01:34,872 - each time he tried to pray. - Ah! Ah! 33 00:01:34,908 --> 00:01:38,743 Hmm, those little fellas want out. 34 00:01:38,778 --> 00:01:41,079 [Clicking tongue] 35 00:01:41,114 --> 00:01:43,548 [Arms stretching] 36 00:01:48,722 --> 00:01:50,688 Who's sick of him? 37 00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:52,424 You're sick of him, huh? 38 00:01:52,459 --> 00:01:56,227 At that moment, Hank realized all he ever wanted in life 39 00:01:56,263 --> 00:01:59,630 was his hands back so he could pray for his hands back... 40 00:01:59,666 --> 00:02:00,732 [Hands snarl] 41 00:02:00,733 --> 00:02:03,568 ...because without prayer, you have to work for your goals, 42 00:02:03,603 --> 00:02:06,470 and the hardest part of improving yourself 43 00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:10,574 is deciding which purchase will make you worthy of love. 44 00:02:10,609 --> 00:02:12,409 [Engine revving] 45 00:02:15,581 --> 00:02:18,248 Ah, this is a nice model. Shall I ring it up? 46 00:02:18,284 --> 00:02:19,684 Let me get your wallet. 47 00:02:19,685 --> 00:02:22,519 Well, I'd like to try it first, s... see how it looks. 48 00:02:22,555 --> 00:02:25,789 No, no, no, no, no. That's considered tacky behavior. 49 00:02:25,824 --> 00:02:29,960 - Are you a tacky boy? - But, um, how can I know if I like it? 50 00:02:29,995 --> 00:02:32,329 Because you trust me implicitly, baby. 51 00:02:32,364 --> 00:02:34,131 Don't we got a good thing going? 52 00:02:34,166 --> 00:02:35,480 I'd like to speak with a manager. 53 00:02:35,481 --> 00:02:37,834 Hold on. Shut your dirty mouth. I'm getting a text. 54 00:02:37,869 --> 00:02:40,704 Ah, I just made manager! [Horn blaring] 55 00:02:40,739 --> 00:02:42,073 Up top! 56 00:02:42,074 --> 00:02:43,840 Okay, then I... C... can I talk to the owner? 57 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:47,010 Hold on. Shh, quiet, quiet, let me... 58 00:02:47,045 --> 00:02:50,446 Yo, I just bought this place! [Horn blaring] 59 00:02:50,482 --> 00:02:52,215 Up tip, yo! 60 00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:56,019 I'm not purchasing this TV until I see how it plays! 61 00:02:56,054 --> 00:02:59,055 Fine. [Scoffs] Golly. 62 00:02:59,091 --> 00:03:01,357 Young girl: Help me! 63 00:03:01,392 --> 00:03:03,927 I can't see! 64 00:03:03,962 --> 00:03:05,929 Where am I? 65 00:03:05,964 --> 00:03:08,932 Did I die? 66 00:03:08,967 --> 00:03:11,001 See? It looks great, right? 67 00:03:11,036 --> 00:03:14,303 - Shall we ring you up, tacky boy? - What's that noise? 68 00:03:14,339 --> 00:03:16,205 That's me yelling about ringing you up. 69 00:03:16,241 --> 00:03:18,807 No, the voice, it sounded like... 70 00:03:18,843 --> 00:03:20,809 [Screaming] 71 00:03:20,845 --> 00:03:22,311 Look, I'm not supposed to do this. 72 00:03:22,347 --> 00:03:23,647 I'm going to be honest with you. 73 00:03:23,648 --> 00:03:27,683 - Why do you want a TV? - Just to watch stuff, to relax. 74 00:03:27,718 --> 00:03:30,886 [Whispering] 75 00:03:30,921 --> 00:03:34,657 I can't really be dead. This is all in my head. 76 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:37,426 Is it not relaxing? It's the newest high-tech feature. 77 00:03:37,462 --> 00:03:40,781 You're trying to sell me a TV with a spirit of a dead 78 00:03:40,782 --> 00:03:44,033 - little girl trapped inside it! - Yes! That's the feature. 79 00:03:44,068 --> 00:03:47,169 - Do you not recognize her? - Who is she? 80 00:03:47,204 --> 00:03:49,371 [evil voice] It's you, the part of you that died 81 00:03:49,406 --> 00:03:52,408 - the day you learned the truth. - What truth? 82 00:03:52,409 --> 00:03:54,476 Her name is Gretchen. It's on all the latest models. 83 00:03:54,511 --> 00:03:56,071 Pretty neat what they can do these days. 84 00:03:56,095 --> 00:03:59,282 - Go on. Ask her for something. - No. 85 00:03:59,283 --> 00:04:01,316 She died so you could have luxury, 86 00:04:01,351 --> 00:04:03,185 and you won't even give her a chance? 87 00:04:03,220 --> 00:04:04,820 What do... What do I ask? 88 00:04:04,855 --> 00:04:05,955 W... what does she do? 89 00:04:05,956 --> 00:04:07,422 Anything people want from a TV. 90 00:04:07,457 --> 00:04:11,994 Okay. Gretchen, make me feel better about my life. 91 00:04:12,029 --> 00:04:15,263 I'm stuck in here filled with fear. 92 00:04:15,299 --> 00:04:17,933 Huh, that does make me feel better. 93 00:04:17,968 --> 00:04:20,368 - I'll take it. - Great! [Horn blaring] 94 00:04:20,404 --> 00:04:22,821 I'll just go ahead and sign you up for the BGGBBR program 95 00:04:22,822 --> 00:04:25,240 - at 300 smacks a month. - Wait, what's that? 96 00:04:25,275 --> 00:04:27,676 Gretchen is designed to creep with such precision, 97 00:04:27,711 --> 00:04:28,944 hidden messages pop. 98 00:04:28,945 --> 00:04:30,112 I died for you. 99 00:04:30,113 --> 00:04:32,180 It's all I do. I died. 100 00:04:32,216 --> 00:04:33,559 The Blind Girl Goose Bumps Braille 101 00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:34,960 Reading System will decrypt them. 102 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,484 [Whispering] I died. It's all I do. 103 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:39,187 She died for me. This much is true. 104 00:04:39,189 --> 00:04:42,657 So ring me up with the extended service protection plan, too. 105 00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:45,793 I was never a gadget guy, but this is pretty neat. 106 00:04:45,829 --> 00:04:47,495 I'm scared as hell. 107 00:04:47,531 --> 00:04:49,997 Wh... What does that part say? 108 00:04:50,033 --> 00:04:51,366 [Gasps] 109 00:04:51,367 --> 00:04:54,286 It wants that I'm to kill you for what you've done 110 00:04:54,287 --> 00:04:56,670 - to poor Gretchen! - Wh... What did I do? 111 00:04:56,706 --> 00:05:00,341 It says, "You know, that you must pay in pain." 112 00:05:00,376 --> 00:05:02,043 And how did you want to pay for that? 113 00:05:02,078 --> 00:05:04,612 No! Those bumps are a liar! 114 00:05:04,647 --> 00:05:07,348 Narrator: When you push your fear away, 115 00:05:07,383 --> 00:05:11,518 it will emerge from somewhere else stronger, angrier, 116 00:05:11,554 --> 00:05:13,420 strangle-y-er. 117 00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:15,823 [Stretching] 118 00:05:15,859 --> 00:05:18,292 We got us a bubble pop. 119 00:05:18,327 --> 00:05:22,063 Hop. It got away. And we're off. [Crying] 120 00:05:22,098 --> 00:05:24,766 [Screaming] 121 00:05:24,801 --> 00:05:27,968 - How do we stop it? - With the fear itself. 122 00:05:28,003 --> 00:05:30,036 Nothing to be afraid of. 123 00:05:30,072 --> 00:05:33,206 Tech rep will work out the kinks for you. 124 00:05:33,242 --> 00:05:36,109 Narrator: After all fear escaped his body, 125 00:05:36,145 --> 00:05:38,611 Hank's confidence broke out. 126 00:05:38,647 --> 00:05:42,515 I love myself as I am! 127 00:05:42,550 --> 00:05:44,384 [Stretching] 128 00:05:44,419 --> 00:05:46,719 Aaaaaaah! 129 00:05:46,755 --> 00:05:48,155 [Panting] 130 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:51,557 Aah! Aah! Aah! 131 00:05:51,593 --> 00:05:52,810 [Smack!] 132 00:05:53,011 --> 00:05:57,164 - Yep, these are all Twin Towers. - How did this happen? 133 00:05:57,199 --> 00:05:58,932 You must have got pretty arrogant lately. 134 00:05:58,967 --> 00:06:00,833 They call them cocky pox. 135 00:06:00,868 --> 00:06:03,436 - Can you pop them? - Oh, absolutely not. 136 00:06:03,438 --> 00:06:05,505 They're fully functional places of work. 137 00:06:05,540 --> 00:06:08,908 Got a robust little economy going, see? 138 00:06:08,943 --> 00:06:10,311 Oop, we got a jumper. 139 00:06:10,312 --> 00:06:12,378 Don't do it, you little cutie! [Chuckles] 140 00:06:12,414 --> 00:06:15,581 Best way to cheer them up is jumper mint. 141 00:06:15,617 --> 00:06:17,650 [Squeaking] 142 00:06:17,686 --> 00:06:21,253 He's scratching me! Get rid of them! 143 00:06:21,289 --> 00:06:23,323 Hmm, well, I can prescribe you something 144 00:06:23,358 --> 00:06:25,591 to take them down a peg. 145 00:06:25,627 --> 00:06:27,593 [Engines whirring] 146 00:06:33,201 --> 00:06:37,369 [Explosions] 147 00:06:37,404 --> 00:06:41,239 Hey, wow, I feel like 100 bucks! 148 00:06:41,274 --> 00:06:43,174 Narrator: After a health scare, 149 00:06:43,210 --> 00:06:45,344 we are reminded what's important... 150 00:06:45,379 --> 00:06:47,612 [Echoing] shopping. 151 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,351 [Coins clatter] 152 00:06:51,352 --> 00:06:54,653 - Paper or plastic? - Uh, paper, please. 153 00:06:54,688 --> 00:06:55,955 [All gasp] 154 00:06:55,956 --> 00:06:58,790 You scum. You don't care about trees. 155 00:06:58,826 --> 00:07:00,226 You murder trees. 156 00:07:00,260 --> 00:07:02,894 No, no, sorry, yeah, no, I'll go with plastic. 157 00:07:02,929 --> 00:07:04,929 [All gasp] 158 00:07:04,965 --> 00:07:06,332 [Cricket chirping] 159 00:07:06,333 --> 00:07:09,834 Add more plastic to the landfill? [Squeak] 160 00:07:09,869 --> 00:07:12,336 Why don't you just strangle a dolphin, too, sicko. 161 00:07:12,372 --> 00:07:18,322 My planet is gasping her death because of you! [Squeaks] 162 00:07:18,745 --> 00:07:24,645 Oh, right, I'll just hold everything in my arm worms. 163 00:07:24,684 --> 00:07:26,751 [Blows air through teeth] 164 00:07:26,786 --> 00:07:29,186 And waste the energy that you could have used 165 00:07:29,221 --> 00:07:33,991 - to help poor people. - Okay, I'll go do that. 166 00:07:34,026 --> 00:07:36,594 ♪ La, la ♪ 167 00:07:36,629 --> 00:07:39,062 ♪ La, la ♪ 168 00:07:39,098 --> 00:07:40,698 ♪ La, la ♪ 169 00:07:40,733 --> 00:07:41,933 Pfft. Really? 170 00:07:41,934 --> 00:07:45,668 [Squeak] Just soup, nothing solid? 171 00:07:45,704 --> 00:07:50,307 [Squeak] Pfft. Oh-ho-ho, great, number sevens. 172 00:07:50,342 --> 00:07:53,110 [Squeak] Folks need spiritual nourishment 173 00:07:53,145 --> 00:07:55,078 to fill their souls... 174 00:07:55,114 --> 00:07:58,315 [Scoffs] ...and a place to crash. 175 00:07:58,350 --> 00:08:00,550 ♪ La, la ♪ 176 00:08:00,585 --> 00:08:02,185 Oh, blessings, that's all you got, 177 00:08:02,221 --> 00:08:06,924 no ascending to a glorious realm? Pfft. 178 00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:09,492 [Groaning] 179 00:08:14,099 --> 00:08:17,834 [Angelic singing] 180 00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:19,502 Pfft. 181 00:08:19,538 --> 00:08:23,440 How do I even know you really transcended our material plane 182 00:08:23,475 --> 00:08:25,975 and merged harmoniously with the cosmos? 183 00:08:26,010 --> 00:08:28,077 Pfft, pfft. 184 00:08:28,112 --> 00:08:29,679 [Squeak] 185 00:08:29,714 --> 00:08:31,648 Pfft. Tss. 186 00:08:31,683 --> 00:08:33,316 [Squeak] 187 00:08:33,351 --> 00:08:35,652 Pfft. Tss. [Squeak] 188 00:08:35,687 --> 00:08:38,822 Girl: The force of Ike's scratch made Ike's face to turn red 189 00:08:38,857 --> 00:08:42,725 as his fidgeting finger plunged deep in his head. 190 00:08:42,761 --> 00:08:46,295 When your giggling digit grows a mind of its own, 191 00:08:46,331 --> 00:08:49,466 who knows who controls the wriggles it gives. 192 00:08:49,501 --> 00:08:52,835 Ike's finger discovered and Ike then was shown 193 00:08:52,870 --> 00:08:56,772 the path of his brain where righteousness lives. 194 00:08:56,807 --> 00:08:59,140 Oh, yeah, I'm so right. 195 00:08:59,176 --> 00:09:02,277 Oh, I'm so right! 196 00:09:02,312 --> 00:09:04,980 Girl: Once the spurt of his rightness, 197 00:09:05,015 --> 00:09:06,547 it gushed and unfurled, 198 00:09:06,583 --> 00:09:09,316 he knew he must share his gift with the world. 199 00:09:09,352 --> 00:09:11,018 How can I help you today, brother? 200 00:09:11,053 --> 00:09:14,421 Oh, I'm so much better than you, oh, me so better. 201 00:09:14,457 --> 00:09:15,724 Oh, me so better. 202 00:09:15,725 --> 00:09:18,626 - Oh, oh, brother! Oh, me so better! - Why? Ooh! 203 00:09:18,661 --> 00:09:21,095 So though just a nub, he continued to rub. 204 00:09:21,130 --> 00:09:23,598 He rubbed in the tub, and he rubbed in the pub. 205 00:09:23,633 --> 00:09:26,066 He rubbed on the run, all over the place. 206 00:09:26,102 --> 00:09:28,936 He rubbed just for fun in everyone's face. 207 00:09:28,972 --> 00:09:31,772 For the treasure God bakes and makes you a man, 208 00:09:31,808 --> 00:09:36,377 his pleasure, he takes when he feels better than. 209 00:09:36,412 --> 00:09:38,912 The worst knee to the groin of the heart 210 00:09:38,947 --> 00:09:41,715 the world has seen was envious green as 211 00:09:41,750 --> 00:09:43,884 Ike flicked his brain's bean. 212 00:09:43,919 --> 00:09:47,654 This morality test made them vow to do nice, 213 00:09:47,689 --> 00:09:51,357 so they plugged up his gush and gave true sacrifice. 214 00:09:51,393 --> 00:09:55,695 [Squeak, stretching] 215 00:09:55,731 --> 00:09:58,031 [Pop] 216 00:09:58,066 --> 00:10:01,234 Proud Ike could no longer make folks seem inferior. 217 00:10:01,269 --> 00:10:02,802 They each plunged a pointer 218 00:10:02,838 --> 00:10:05,505 through their own head's interior. 219 00:10:05,541 --> 00:10:08,542 The same goo that had once made folks feel so bad, 220 00:10:08,577 --> 00:10:12,145 that goo became good. Oh, the gush that was had. 221 00:10:12,180 --> 00:10:15,548 This goo was the cure for their spirits' diseases. 222 00:10:15,583 --> 00:10:18,884 He lifted all hearts, out-gooded all geez-s. 223 00:10:18,920 --> 00:10:22,121 Now in lieu of the doing of doing good things, 224 00:10:22,157 --> 00:10:26,926 they'd feel just good feelings of good the goo brings. 225 00:10:26,961 --> 00:10:30,196 The goo was pure goodness. It had to be. 226 00:10:30,231 --> 00:10:34,067 They spread good like angels, left good for free. 227 00:10:34,102 --> 00:10:35,834 We stepped out for such truth. 228 00:10:35,870 --> 00:10:39,272 What's this nub thing, where, how? 229 00:10:39,307 --> 00:10:41,574 He is the proof that it's real. 230 00:10:41,609 --> 00:10:45,343 Man: I'm rubbing mine now. 231 00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:48,146 ♪ There's blood in the kitchen ♪ 232 00:10:48,182 --> 00:10:51,416 ♪ There's blood in the hall ♪ 233 00:10:51,452 --> 00:10:54,386 ♪ There's blood in the parlor ♪ 234 00:10:54,421 --> 00:10:57,522 ♪ Where my lady did fall ♪ 235 00:10:57,558 --> 00:11:03,361 ♪ Long Lankin was hanged on a gibbet so high ♪ 236 00:11:03,397 --> 00:11:09,347 ♪ And the false nurse was burned in a fire close by ♪ 237 00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:15,647 sync and correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~